(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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