i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
