Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
God I need to hump something, right now.
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