I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
