i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i was born a porn star she said
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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