id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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