I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
