Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
