We're facebook friends in real life
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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