What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
