So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
