I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
