Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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