Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize