All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Is Oprah even human
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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