i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
soo... how was my night?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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