dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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