Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
