once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
