I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
