I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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