i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
