i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
