we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
