Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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