Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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