so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
do herpes really smell.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
