He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
