haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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