She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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