Its about making memories worth repressing
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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