This is not my ceiling
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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