I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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