I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
