i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
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