Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
