we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
