Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
