So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
