dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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