He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
