Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
