It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
