the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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