i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
