i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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