nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
