Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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