just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
