Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
my liver is dry heaving
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize