Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
