Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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