I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
