I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So many bounce houses so little time
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
