I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
