whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
