youre lurking in front of me
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize