He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
