me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
