she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
