I just made out with a guy for $7.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
